We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
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