And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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