You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Randomize
