Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
