Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Randomize
