people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
The struggles of a small town man whore
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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