The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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