I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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