I wannas sexs uuuuu
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
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