remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
