We got so high we made milksteak
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
