If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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