quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
