I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.