My Higher Power is John Stamos
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?