On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...