I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Randomize
