i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
50% drunk capacity currently
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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