Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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