I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
