I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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