I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
