there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
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