Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
