i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
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So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
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Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
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