Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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