Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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