yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
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