So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Randomize
