I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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