Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
