I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Randomize
