Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize