do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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