who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
