i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
