$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
