i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Must be January. Theres a fat chick on an elliptical wearing khaki capris. Someone doesnt own any workout clothes
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
