I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
3 2 1 whiskey
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
