I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
