I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
