the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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