My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Randomize
