Taylor Swift is so right about you.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize