If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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