You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
MIDGETS
????
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize