i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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