He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
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