He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
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