I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
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