We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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