When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
