did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
