im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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