did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Tornado booty call.. dedication
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
