Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
