i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
