Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
