Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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