worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
