is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
