After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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