is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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