I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
