A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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